Preface

September, 1991

As I sipped my Dr. Brown’s Cel-Ray soda, I looked around.   The place looked so familiar, yet I knew I had never been.   When we had entered, my law school friend Todd, grabbed a ticket at the door to mark our place in line.  Meanwhile, I both gazed at, and inhaled in, my surroundings.  The deli looked quite old, like it had been around for at least a hundred years.   Yet, the atmosphere was far from dead.   It was as if the next to the words “˜hustle and bustle’ in the dictionary were pictures of this restaurant.

Todd ordered two pastrami sandwiches, letting me know it was a “must have.”   As I bit into the most awesome sandwich that was clearly too large for me to consume in just one meal, I looked over, “Where are we, anyway?”   “C’mon.   You don’t know?”   At that moment, despite the fact that both my parents were raised in New York City, I felt like a little Midwestern school girl.   “No, should I?”   “We are at Katz’ Delicatessen!   Didn’t you see the movie, “When Harry Met Sally?”   I smiled, and instantly tried to find the spot where Sally so famously broke the news (following up with a demonstration) to Harry that some women fake it.   I couldn’t find the location until I realized we  appeared to be  seated at the very spot.  

Recently, I had one of “those”weeks.   I discovered that from sitting awkwardly on the train for hours while balancing my laptop on my legs, I provoked a bout of sciatica.   And then, within days, the tooth I had recently had refilled began to ache terribly.   A rash broke out on my bottom and legs, which may have been related to the sciatica or the result of a brush with my husband’s poison ivy-infected clothes from yard work.  And then, I got my period. The entire experience left me feeling intensely uncomfortable on practically every physical level, and feeling sorry for myself.   When people would ask, “Meg, how do you feel?”   I would soak in the concern and let them know I was miserable.   John says when I am not feeling well I am the worst patient.   He’s right””I am not good at faking it.

And then, I opened the paper to read that Nora Ephron had died.   As with many, I have been a huge fan.   Not simply because of her amazing talents as a writer, essayist, humorist, wonderful wife, and mother to two boys.   No, even when diagnosed with a fatal illness, Ms. Ephron also had the keen ability to always laugh at herself.   Last October, channeling Ellen DeGeneres, I wrote a post called, “You Never Know What Funny Can Do.”   There I stated, “The truth of that simple sentence struck me deeply. The ability to laugh at yourself is the key to helping others feel comfortable with you, no matter your difference.”   As the week progressed, the eulogies for Ms. Ephron poured in and often had a common theme:  Nora Ephron  will be remembered because she made as much fun of herself as anyone else.

With respect to my two fingers and two toes,  there is no question I have continued to poke fun at myself where possible.   Just this week  I mentioned on a conference call that I could get a memo out asap since I was the fastest two fingered typist this side of the Appalachians.   Awkward silence often follows, but I don’t care.   I  readily laugh at myself when it comes to my condition.   However,  it occurs to me that I need to carry that humor to other life experiences that feel challenging.   And so, in honor of Nora Ephron, I’ll update my prior theme: “The ability to laugh at yourself is the key to helping others feel comfortable with you, no matter your experience!”

What also caught my eye was that in Ms. Ephron’s final book, “I Remember Nothing: And Other Reflections,”she had a “What I Won’t Miss/What I Will Miss“list about things she would or would not miss on Earth.   Here’s my variation on the theme:

Hiding my Difference: What I Will Miss

• NOTHING

Flaunting My Difference: What I Will Miss

• Not caring if people stare
• Writing”¦with honesty and candor
• Being a role model for my kids
• All the unexpected and probably undeserved discounts and then being able to pay the savings forward
• Having people I regard as role models think of me as a role model
• Having the ability to laugh at myself”¦and mean it
• Having the ability to laugh at myself…and watch people visibly relax about my difference
• Trying new things without worrying how others are judging me
• Teaching people the message, “What You Think of Me is None of My Business!”
• Inspiring others to flaunt it, simply by being myself

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